Sponge bath it is.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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