U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
