I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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