LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
