I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
