Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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