You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
