Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
