Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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