These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am midnight drunk by noon
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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