I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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