jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
