Duck Duck Cougar?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize