someone owes me an orgasm
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
