God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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