We won't sleep together?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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