I'm eating all of the evidence.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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