Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
They have beer where we have blood.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize