i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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