You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If I die, sorry about rent.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
