i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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