Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone

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  (832): moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone http://tfl.nu/qe9x
  Replies (13) Good night (3378) Bad night (1498)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.

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  (802): clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven. http://tfl.nu/4bru
  Replies (7) Good night (874) Bad night (2825)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....

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  (253): Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined..... http://tfl.nu/yuuz
  Replies (13) Good night (966) Bad night (4598)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...

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  (616): So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes... http://tfl.nu/3so6
  Replies (6) Good night (3606) Bad night (1093)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.

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  (573): and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/r14v
  Replies (13) Good night (2658) Bad night (1053)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"

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  (215): Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober" http://tfl.nu/vzc2
  Replies (6) Good night (4182) Bad night (922)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...

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  (904): I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast... http://tfl.nu/hk8s
  Replies (7) Good night (1624) Bad night (1636)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.

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  (410): Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips. http://tfl.nu/4phy
  Replies (2) Good night (2029) Bad night (728)
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  (415): View more from California

  OPIZZABONMYDICK

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  (415): OPIZZABONMYDICK http://tfl.nu/43zd
  Replies (14) Good night (833) Bad night (593)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?

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  (919): I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent? http://tfl.nu/tgod
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (411)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  *jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for

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  (410): Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something. (443): *jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for http://tfl.nu/ud0q
  Replies (4) Good night (1591) Bad night (575)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.

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  (320): I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice. http://tfl.nu/yhhi
  Replies (6) Good night (1413) Bad night (439)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.

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  (770): He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles. http://tfl.nu/ru6c
  Replies (5) Good night (477) Bad night (794)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.

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  (320): It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus. http://tfl.nu/y9c1
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (336)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

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  (585): He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to. http://tfl.nu/t8ue
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (291)

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