Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating

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  (949): either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating http://tfl.nu/qtb8
  Replies (6) Good night (2984) Bad night (567)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.

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  (804): it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself. http://tfl.nu/cxw0
  Replies (12) Good night (545) Bad night (3356)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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  (305): If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there http://tfl.nu/dyet
  Replies (14) Good night (5630) Bad night (602)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

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  (610): He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab. http://tfl.nu/orgb
  Replies (51) Good night (6579) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by

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  (970): You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by http://tfl.nu/7cd3
  Replies (13) Good night (4029) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!

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  (785): so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out! http://tfl.nu/n1rp
  Replies (11) Good night (4523) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done

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  (502): so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done http://tfl.nu/tthp
  Replies (10) Good night (4010) Bad night (878)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?

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  (713): Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order? http://tfl.nu/nfxj
  Replies (2) Good night (2778) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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  (201): We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong? http://tfl.nu/lzrs
  Replies (13) Good night (2855) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.

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  (240): and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well. http://tfl.nu/nn8d
  Replies (12) Good night (3088) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club

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  (512): that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club http://tfl.nu/q8pu
  Replies (8) Good night (1090) Bad night (1885)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years

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  (262): All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years http://tfl.nu/lv0h
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.

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  (765): I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it. http://tfl.nu/bmis
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.

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  (419): Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women. http://tfl.nu/y0qe
  Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.

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  (508): It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news. http://tfl.nu/vv9l
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (243)

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