I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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