You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life