This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.