Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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(605): View more from South Dakota

there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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(972): View more from Texas

I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

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(443): View more from Maryland

If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.

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(207): View more from Maine

I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo

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(804): View more from Virginia

Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....

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