Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  scale of 1-10 how well do I give head

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.

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  (907): scale of 1-10 how well do I give head (1-907): 5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish. http://tfl.nu/uclv
  Replies (75) Good night (4261) Bad night (1229)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.

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  (330): I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet. http://tfl.nu/cgw3
  Replies (61) Good night (5011) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

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  (786): All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" http://tfl.nu/jvct
  Replies (49) Good night (9388) Bad night (1239)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

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  (506): I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to http://tfl.nu/sk6c
  Replies (25) Good night (5485) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out

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  (403): That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out http://tfl.nu/2o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (3901) Bad night (875)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.

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  (403): were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found. http://tfl.nu/pucp
  Replies (13) Good night (2289) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major

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  (480): Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major http://tfl.nu/g5od
  Replies (5) Good night (1804) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.

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  (503): I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it. http://tfl.nu/30lr
  Replies (12) Good night (2561) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym

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  (949): Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym http://tfl.nu/zlhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1422) Bad night (511)
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  (619): View more from California

  For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

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  (619): For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this. http://tfl.nu/nvhn
  Replies (14) Good night (1876) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.

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  (404): I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points. http://tfl.nu/5q8o
  Replies (10) Good night (1118) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.

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  (613): Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again. http://tfl.nu/4a7s
  Replies (7) Good night (369) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  That sucks

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!

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  (505): I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence (1-505): That sucks (505): It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee! http://tfl.nu/y3d0
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.

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  (949): Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9gq2
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border

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  (914): They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border http://tfl.nu/ra2t
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (217)

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