drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?