Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying