Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  1:48 am: your uglier

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  (901) 1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man (423) 1:48 am: your uglier http://tfl.nu/ln5v
  Replies (6) Good night (1322) Bad night (1822)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.

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  (713): She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife. http://tfl.nu/71gc
  Replies (24) Good night (5534) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart

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  (201): she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart http://tfl.nu/a2u7
  Replies (18) Good night (4565) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week

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  (248): You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week http://tfl.nu/vksd
  Replies (5) Good night (4508) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.

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  (862): I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word. http://tfl.nu/hy59
  Replies (21) Good night (5166) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"

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  (516): Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn" http://tfl.nu/e8ge
  Replies (19) Good night (5719) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you

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  (518): I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you http://tfl.nu/jrvn
  Replies (20) Good night (5676) Bad night (2013)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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  (817): Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool http://tfl.nu/oo5b
  Replies (5) Good night (1056) Bad night (2578)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend

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  (850): i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend http://tfl.nu/u4us
  Replies (48) Good night (4244) Bad night (2970)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?

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  (317): Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night? http://tfl.nu/o2wm
  Replies (8) Good night (1678) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death

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  (816): im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death http://tfl.nu/dz9y
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.

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  (503): In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase. http://tfl.nu/gdrn
  Replies (3) Good night (1136) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......

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  (316): He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me...... http://tfl.nu/tscc
  Replies (5) Good night (305) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"

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  (410): Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men" http://tfl.nu/o2lw
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  ....you got kicked INTO a party??

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  (306): so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay. (1-306): ....you got kicked INTO a party?? http://tfl.nu/nppd
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (288)

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