So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He did a backflip because drugs
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