Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
