and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
