dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
