The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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