fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize