can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
