I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
