just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
