i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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