I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
