No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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