508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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