I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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