Fine. I'll sleep in my office
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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