Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
