You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My vagina just clenched in fear
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
