he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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