alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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