My cat gives me a boner
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
handjob tips. give me some.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
