oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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