i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
