In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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