69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
