Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love you.
Bad choice
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