One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
