The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
