I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
