Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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