I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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