Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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