Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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