Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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