this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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