why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
