He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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Just invented taco cereal.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize