Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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