I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just invented taco cereal.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
